“We want you looking your best without the rest“
I’m creating a new app that cuts the bullshit. It will be called LOOK. Look how good looking I am. Look at me being in all the right places at all the right times. Look how happy I am. Look how loved I am. LOOK. It will save a lot time because there will be no need for the pretense that social media is about anything else other than LOOKING. The faker the better. AI makeovers encouraged. If you’re not pretty create a pretty AI version of yourself and start showing and glowing. Sell stuff and create hope for us ugly rich consumers. No more pretense. This is LOOK.
Here’s my favorite faux controversy to justify posting a naked torso.
“Someone at the gym called me fat” angry faced emoji, followed by a picture of yourself looking super slim and gorgeous without an inch of fat and a frenzy of comments saying…
‘OMG you’re not fat!”
and
“If you’re fat then I’m a whale!”
and
“Hey beautiful, ignore the haters”.
Or
“I’m sure nobody cares, but I’ve been sober for 571 days” followed by a picture of a half naked you, with muscles popping out of you’re skin.
Or
“I spilt coffee on my work shirt” below a picture of a very naked oiled up you, with bright white teeth, scrunching a shirt in the camera, showing off your perfect abs. Comments and likes in abundance…
“Oh no what happened, hope you’re ok stud?”
“Looking good hot stuff”
“I’ll wash your shirt for you, Sir”.
Look, on LOOK you don’t need to whip up faux controversy or sympathy to whip up the likes. No more legitimising self obsession with an ethical dilemma. When all your really want to say is LOOK AT ME.
No more obligation likes, sympathy likes, reciprocated likes, drunk likes, boredom likes…etc. Just good old fashion likes for likes sake. Pure likes, if you like.
No more ‘take me back’ yearnings when you want to reshare your summer holiday pictures because you know how super sexy you looked on that beach, at sunset, arm in arm with all those super sexy people you call friends proving that you must be super sexy in real life because you have so many super sexy friends. Comments drooling from the post, like…
“All the feels babe, wish we were there now”
LOOK is for you! A social media platform for Like Whores who are sick to death of creating faux content to excuse their narcissism. Be self-obsessed, go on. Love yourself. No, adore yourself. Ney, worship yourself. LOOK.
No more telling a million strangers that you’ve just lost your husband to cancer just so they will like your new profile pic. On LOOK you just post your new profile pic on it’s own without your dead husband and the likes come flowing in anyway, as they should. You simply get likes for sake of likes. Pure likes, if you like. That’s LOOK. You want everyone to LOOK. And that’s ok. It’s LOOK so we want you looking your best without the rest. You deserve to be beautiful and you deserve to be told over and over and over again. If you’ve got it, flaunt it because we want it. LOOK.
Our online tutorials will make sure every picture you take looks amazing, if you’re not happy with it you won’t need to caption it with ‘might delete later’. We’ll delete it for you, automatically. And don’t worry about it if you don’t get the likes you were hoping for. We’ll thrown in 1000 likes for every LOOK without the pretense or as we like to call it, the boring bit. The bit that makes you look humble, accidently caught out or normally quite shy. Don’t get distracted by content, just look good. We are LOOK. You love yourself. And so do we.