Misery upon grim
The British don’t expect to be happy. On this small boot-shaped island miserableness is patriotic. The British are proudly miserable. In the depths of winter misery is a crackling fire in the pit of one’s gut. It’s the only way…
BJ Tunstall
Strangeways, Here We Come
Morrissey was and still is a self-obsessed jerk but I’d still give him my big toe if he ran out of vegetables. It’s a brave man who has The Smiths in his top ten albums of all time. People get…
Ashes to ashes, tat to tut
“Babs saw all the things she loathed in herself also in her son. His loose skin and wide open heart” David Bowie said in his song Queen BitchShe’s so swishy in her satin and tatIn her frock coatand bipperty-bopperty hat…
Ben the dog walker
Contact info I would highly recommend Ben to look after treasured dogs. He is reliable and enthusiastic and they will get plenty of exercise. He looked after my dog Pippin on and off for 6 years. Pippin adored him and…
Mexican striptease
“I dined at La Bodega Negra the night after Kylie Minogue was seen exiting not so discretely” I’m rarely seen at the right places or attend the right parties but last night I dined at La Bodega Negra the night…
Here’s to things we love
Oh here’s to Brighton A town that says ‘do your worst’ Says here’s to the hug that won’t let go first, taking the sting out of signal failure at Three Bridges Says here’s to the archers and all the weekend…
A Melbourne thing
“He was the perfect Melbourne waiter, reading his customers and matching any hint of enthusiasm with flirty temptation. Also known as sexy up-selling” The wait staff in Melbourne restaurants are renowned for their intimacy. When you’re fresh from another country…
Car crash romance
“Right now if I had to choose between my Italian lover Marco and Parmesan I’d choose Parmesan. He doesn’t mind. It’s Parmesan after all. Italian’s are rarely jealous if you choose food over them” I don’t do romance. Having said…
Reflector
Arcade Fire had successfully recruited my body and now they were coming for my soul. I’m an Arcade Fire superfan, ready to do whatever they tell me. I buy the merch and Google search “where does Régine Chassagne live?” every…
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Even if you hate heavily produced music you have to admire Kanye’s willingness to crack open his sloppy noodle brain and let us dig in with chopsticks. The longest cry in my life was to Runaway on repeat. It felt…