Crazy
“Robert was a hedonist. He was a hedonist not because he was a fag but because he was a hedonist. The best kind” A crazy person said once that “everyone’s life is a form of psychosis in slow motion and…
BJ Tunstall
Dark heart funny face.
Misery upon grim
The British don’t expect to be happy. On this small boot-shaped island miserableness is patriotic. The British are proudly miserable. In the depths of winter misery is a crackling fire in the pit of one’s gut. It’s the only way…
Look
“We want you looking your best without the rest“ I’m creating a new app that cuts the bullshit. It will be called LOOK. Look how good looking I am. Look at me being in all the right places at all…
Pho lumberjacks
“Coriander is also notorious for getting stuck in foreskins and bras” When the Pho Cafe (Vietnamese street food) opened back in 2005 it blossomed flavour and freshness. Now their soups taste like a public pool after a school swimming carnival.…
Wake me up before you Covid
March 2020 I was working in a hospital as Covid-19 took hold of the city. To curb the spread of the virus hospital workers were required to quarantine after work. This meant I couldn’t be within 2 meters of my…
Protected: My best friend John
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Budae Jjigae yum
When I first heard about ‘army base stew’ I got an erection imagining soldiers in a spa soaking their war torn limbs…” When I first heard about ‘army base stew’ I got an erection imagining soldiers in a spa soaking…
Strangeways, Here We Come
Morrissey was and still is a self-obsessed jerk but I’d still give him my big toe if he ran out of vegetables. It’s a brave man who has The Smiths in his top ten albums of all time. People get…
The immortal wakes
He didn’t lie with her until her mortal heart slowed, slowed, slowed, slowed to just a mumble in his big ear His yawn a tunnel through time A window too Took respite in a cave to ease his arthritic thumb…
Ashes to ashes, tat to tut
“Babs saw all the things she loathed in herself also in her son. His loose skin and wide open heart” David Bowie said in his song Queen BitchShe’s so swishy in her satin and tatIn her frock coatand bipperty-bopperty hat…